More gaming nonsense!
Nov. 5th, 2007 01:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zephyrofgodAnd yet another entertaining bunch of quotes from game last night. What compounded it was our Bender was LARPing getting drunk...again, so you'll see a lot of quotes from the Bender. Additionally, my lesbian gnome is now pregnant (all because the DM has a sick sense of humour, and because the gnome made called shots with her hand crossbow into a titan's testicle...all in the name of SNEAK ATTACK! So, she's pregnant with a half-titan, half-whisper gnome. What is the world coming to?)
The cast this week:
The DM (what else...DM!)
The silver dragon kobold Vassal of Bahamut (Kobold)
The lesbian whisper gnome rogue (Gnome)
The dragonborn goblin cleric of Lathander and Tamara (Dragonborn)
The warforged drunken master (Bender)
(The kobold notices that the Medium White Dragon miniature bears a striking resemblance to a hooded KKK member, makes comment. DM's response.)
DM: Here's an idea: KKK White Dragons are sitting there in the swamp trying to burn a five-headed pentagram of Tiamat on the lawn of a Black Dragon's Lair.
Bender: White Power! White Power! Uh, guys, where are the tindertwigs? We, uh, sorta breathe ice."
Gnome: "Uh....(pause) Shit.
(The party is in a forest, with trees oozing some nasty-looking sap. The Bender wants to ferment it to make an alcoholic beverage.)
Bender: It's black and oozing already!
DM: It's more Guinness than Guinness?
DM: What's the Konami code for Warforged sex?
Bender: Fart sequence initiated.
Bender, on dragon/kobold sex: Or, they can just get the turkey baster.
Bender, obviously drunk and wanting more alcohol: We have a molten guy (editrix' note: a pyroclastic kobold barbarian NPC cohort) and a metal guy. Let's make a still!
Bender, commenting on a rather plaintive song coming from the forest: So, it's any given Meatloaf album.
DM: Dead Guy Ale (tm) tastes like Mummy Braü. But not enough linen.
Gnome: But I don't like the wood!
Bender, commenting more on the sap collected from the singing tree: This tree will produece meth-anol.
Gnome, talking about the half-Fierre celadrin bard cohort: Is he here to try to turn the gnome hetero or bi?
DM: No, she's too short for him.
Dragonborn: No, he's not a cleric.
Bender: I could do many things to you, but you don't have a P/S2 or PLI port. Or a USB. Or a parallel port.
Kobold, to Bender: Are you Plug and Play?
Bender: Yes. Yes, I am.
Bender, on LARPing getting drunk: So, when I mentioned fermented piss before, I hadn't tried this.
Bender, on tormenting the bard, who had nightmares from the singing tree: I've got some wood for him!
Bender, ruminating on robots: Robots can't be gay because they're robots.
Bender: I have eighty naughty spots. I call them ports.
Bender: I wanted to drink, not fight. I'm not an Irish robot.
Bender: You just got rained on by Titan spooge. Eew.
Bender, on numbers: It's all 1s and 0s to me.
And there we have it, folks. You have fun with it.
Crossposted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
rpgquotes.
The cast this week:
The DM (what else...DM!)
The silver dragon kobold Vassal of Bahamut (Kobold)
The lesbian whisper gnome rogue (Gnome)
The dragonborn goblin cleric of Lathander and Tamara (Dragonborn)
The warforged drunken master (Bender)
(The kobold notices that the Medium White Dragon miniature bears a striking resemblance to a hooded KKK member, makes comment. DM's response.)
DM: Here's an idea: KKK White Dragons are sitting there in the swamp trying to burn a five-headed pentagram of Tiamat on the lawn of a Black Dragon's Lair.
Bender: White Power! White Power! Uh, guys, where are the tindertwigs? We, uh, sorta breathe ice."
Gnome: "Uh....(pause) Shit.
(The party is in a forest, with trees oozing some nasty-looking sap. The Bender wants to ferment it to make an alcoholic beverage.)
Bender: It's black and oozing already!
DM: It's more Guinness than Guinness?
DM: What's the Konami code for Warforged sex?
Bender: Fart sequence initiated.
Bender, on dragon/kobold sex: Or, they can just get the turkey baster.
Bender, obviously drunk and wanting more alcohol: We have a molten guy (editrix' note: a pyroclastic kobold barbarian NPC cohort) and a metal guy. Let's make a still!
Bender, commenting on a rather plaintive song coming from the forest: So, it's any given Meatloaf album.
DM: Dead Guy Ale (tm) tastes like Mummy Braü. But not enough linen.
Gnome: But I don't like the wood!
Bender, commenting more on the sap collected from the singing tree: This tree will produece meth-anol.
Gnome, talking about the half-Fierre celadrin bard cohort: Is he here to try to turn the gnome hetero or bi?
DM: No, she's too short for him.
Dragonborn: No, he's not a cleric.
Bender: I could do many things to you, but you don't have a P/S2 or PLI port. Or a USB. Or a parallel port.
Kobold, to Bender: Are you Plug and Play?
Bender: Yes. Yes, I am.
Bender, on LARPing getting drunk: So, when I mentioned fermented piss before, I hadn't tried this.
Bender, on tormenting the bard, who had nightmares from the singing tree: I've got some wood for him!
Bender, ruminating on robots: Robots can't be gay because they're robots.
Bender: I have eighty naughty spots. I call them ports.
Bender: I wanted to drink, not fight. I'm not an Irish robot.
Bender: You just got rained on by Titan spooge. Eew.
Bender, on numbers: It's all 1s and 0s to me.
And there we have it, folks. You have fun with it.
Crossposted to
rpgquotes.
