Well, we got back to do more game. It's been a month, but between the DM and I being sick, we have a fairly valid excuse. It was also the DM's impromptu birthday party, complete with a red velvet cake decorated to look like a weighted companion cube from Portal. I didn't take photos, so...you'll just have to trust me. Game basically consisted of the party going through Lashonna's lair. Kyuss worms are not fun to tangle with. Especially ones that eat your trapbait.

The cast this week:
The DM
The Bender
The Kobold
The Dragonborn
Blessed Virgin Gnome
( seriously, what the hell is wrong with us? )

Wow. I heard through the grapevine that Gary Gygax died today: DM/GM's Day. Proof that God indeed has a sense of humour.

Keep a spot open at the gaming table, okay, Gary?

Well, after killing Dragotha, we're off to go kill more baddies.

Granted, this is from three weeks ago, but I've been sick. Gimme some slack.

This week's cast.
The DM
The Bender
The Dragonborn
The Kobold
The Bugbear
Blessed Virgin Gnome

"Stop teabagging the bard, dammit!" - Gnome

"Oh, you're Smokey the Bugbear!" - Gnome

"So, a vampire and his Kyuss-spawn buddies were sittin' in a bar..." - Gnome

"I can write some salvation IOUs..." - Bugbear, on starting his new religion.

"I'm an airplane!" - Bugbear

We finally killed Dragotha in the Age of Worms adventure path. Yay! That being said, we didn't have too many quotes from this game (there was a lot of degeneration down the path of Beavis and Butthead, but what game doesn't have this?), but I've got the funniest ones, in my very humble opinion. One of the cohorts was reincarnated into a girl fairy from a boy halfling or something like that. I don't remember. But it was funny. So are these quotes. Go read.

Cast this week:
The DM
The Gnome (who shall so forth be known as Blessed Virgin Gnome)
The Bender
The Kobold
The Dragonborn
The Elemental Savant Halfling
The Formerly-Halfling Rogue, now Bugbear Rogue

----------------------

“Yay! Splatter-happy fun time!” Bender

“Heh-heh-heh. You fisted it.” Kobold

“We can reincarcerate it later.” Kobold

“I'm going off to the Sherlock Holmes Holodeck now.” Bugbear

“It's pee-pee time.” Bender

We started off in the Worm Crawl Fissure (yes, we're still on the Age of Worms), and a fight with a lich and his Prismatic Spray sent the pyroclastic chaotic Barbarian to Mechanus, where he ended up racking up a debt because of the mess he was causing. So, the party ended up cleaning up a Mordron* mess for Mechanus to avoid paying the fines, and that's where we stopped.

*(Rogue Mordron Secundus, a leftover from the Tenebrous incident from Planescape.)

The Cast
DM
The Gnome
The Kobold
The Dragonborn
The Bender
The Halfing Rogue

"Vista is like having a blonde as a secretary, it’s really pretty, but too dumb to do anything."(DM)
"And Linux is like banging a fat chick." (Bender)

"I like being fingered, but enough is enough." (Gnome, after managing to resist a couple Finger of Death Spells.)

"The best way to run away from a displacer beast is to run right where you last saw it." (Kobold)

Bender starts playing music as battle begins, specifically the cave battle music from Final Fantasy 1 (any errors in game numeration are the dragonborn’s fault.)

"It’s a warforged they run Linux anyway." (Bender)
"Don’t you mean Fortran?" (Dragonborn)
"At least it’s not Cobol." (Gnome)

"He hit him so hard his grandchildren roll over and die." (DM)
"The joke's on you! I’ll never have grandchildren, because I’m dead!!!" (Halfing)

"But would he be a gay bugbear?" (Gnome)

"It’s called cock waving." (Bender)
"You don’t have a cock to wave." (Gnome)
"I know, I’m Scottish." (Bender)

"No fewer than seven chests of different sizes." (DM)
"I call the double Ds!" (Kobold)

Refer to lost_in_mowhere’s post: Our Halfling Rogue goes nuts. And while nuts he is more effective at combat than he normally is. So he debates staying that way and suggests that he be tied up and unleashed when combat begins which causes the DM to jokingly invent and
suggest the following item:

Straightjacket of escaping: +15
circumstance bonus to escape artist

This became real as soon as the Halfling Rogue was healed back to sanity, although at this point I think he had become a Bugbear.

On the ever-full purse: "We can hire some Korean to farm gold for us." Bender (I think, or maybe the paladin, once again blame me [the dragonborn] and not the gnome. I forgot to jot down who said this.)

After 10 minutes of the Modron battle, Bender says "Let me translate: The Cake is a lie."

Well, after a long break, we're back with more craziness.

Yes, we're still on the Age of Worms path. Yes, we got further. It was a shorter gaming session, as it was the first week back to school, and we got started late, but it was a good session. The kobold was not present, due to a really crappy week at work, so it was probably for the best.

The Cast
Gnome
Bender
Dragonborn
Thrikreen
Halfling
DM


“You're wearing a a skeleton shirt...it doesn't get more pornographic than that.” - Bender, on the Gnome's player's shirt, a glow-in-the-dark skeleton shirt from Halloween.

Bender: “This is the best Metroid game ever!”
DM: “It's Castlevania.”
Bender: “Exactly.”

“Mecca....and Sturgis.” -Bender, on describing crazy places where people gather.

“If you can't hit the broad side of a barn, you're screwed.” - Gnome
“Or a Stormtrooper.” - Bender

“Bark like a chicken! Bark like a chicken!” - Flaming Halfling

“Let's go bother the Scorpion. Bother Bother Bother Bother!” -Bender

We did have game this weekend, though it was a much smaller group. (editrix' note: my grandfather passed away this weekend, and all I can do is wait...my friends and SO suggested game as distraction from grief. So, I went to game.)

The Cast
The Bender
The Gnome
The Kobold
The Dragonborn
The GM

Bender: So it's like super-sized arkansas?

Gnome: Also a supervised penis.

Bender: (while we're negotiating his sale/rental) Data quote.

Bender: The key is probably to the bathroom.
Gnome: Too many bean burritos.

Gnome: It's a dragon orgy?
GM and Dragonborn: Yes.

Bender: How does true-seeing work with beer goggles?

Bender starts various song parodies to the tune of "Let's build a snowman," from Cannibal the Musical

Gnome: The Hill Giants are Fuzzy Lumpkin, admit it.

GM: The Bender is now a smuggling unit for illegal immigrants...

DM: You'll have to teach them common, they only know Draconic.
Kobold: There's nothing wrong with Draconic, it's the language of the Dracons...

GM: Beer so strong you won't be able to move
Bender: Roofie-brau!

And yet another entertaining bunch of quotes from game last night. What compounded it was our Bender was LARPing getting drunk...again, so you'll see a lot of quotes from the Bender. Additionally, my lesbian gnome is now pregnant (all because the DM has a sick sense of humour, and because the gnome made called shots with her hand crossbow into a titan's testicle...all in the name of SNEAK ATTACK! So, she's pregnant with a half-titan, half-whisper gnome. What is the world coming to?)

The cast this week:
The DM (what else...DM!)
The silver dragon kobold Vassal of Bahamut (Kobold)
The lesbian whisper gnome rogue (Gnome)
The dragonborn goblin cleric of Lathander and Tamara (Dragonborn)
The warforged drunken master (Bender)

( And without further ado... )

And there we have it, folks. You have fun with it.

Crossposted to rpgquotes.

( Cut for the nongamers )

Crossposted to rpgquotes

Last Saturday, my tabletop game reached levels of...well, honestly, I don't know. But there were too many soda-sporfling moments of just sheer joy and silliness that remind me why I love playing D&D.

( cut for those who have no interest in D&D )

Crossposted to rpgquotes.

Oh. And GIP.